[ open au ] moon baby

[benchwarming]

My pain is caused by my pleasure
And my soul mate lives in your body
I can't get you out of my head
It never goes away

( an au where stiles is a werewolf.
can be because he was bitten by peter hale instead of scott,
or possibly after he was offered the bite.
maybe he was always a werewolf. )

Comments

[sassywolf]

[ He was several seconds away from rolling his eyes but having Stiles in his space seemed to relax the reflex, nuzzling into the touch. ]

...I'll be expecting the same in return.

[ Though he could already see that it was going to take some time for him to open up like that, not just to Stiles but the others as well. ]

[benchwarming]

What, you think I don't open up enough?

[ It's defensive at first but then Stiles sighs and relaxes against Derek. ]

Yeah, I know, I need to get better at actually using my words.

[sassywolf]

You talk a lot but don't actually say much at all. [ He Derek can usually pick out what might be useful information from Stiles rambles. ]

[benchwarming]

I - I know, I don't.

[ Stiles rests his chin on Derek's shoulder so he doesn't have to actually look at him. ]

After my mom - my dad was so upset, I didn't want to show him how upset I was too, make him worry. So I would ramble and talk and pretend like everything was fine, even when I was having panic attacks.

I just never started talking, after that, I just kept deflecting.

[sassywolf]

[ He may not be able to see Stiles face, but he could still hear his heart, his breath and feel him through being so close. Derek's gaze dropped as his listened.

Deflecting was something he did himself, afraid of what might happen if he opened up, afraid he would hurt more than he already had.

He frowned not sure if this was the time to console Stiles, so in like, he opened up instead even if it was difficult to find the words at first. ]

...Laura was the only one I ever told about Kate.

[benchwarming]

[ Stiles feels his breath catch. He knows, a little, about Kate, but not a lot, only what Scott and Allison had begrudingly shared.

And he doesn't want to press, for once, here. Instead he bites back on his words by giving Derek a little squeeze. ]

[sassywolf]

[ He rests his head against Stiles' shoulder, feeling a longing pain in his gut suddenly but finding the strength to return the squeeze. ]

[benchwarming]

You know that it wasn't your fault, right?

[ Stiles blurts the words out after a moment, arms tightening as if to hold Derek in place. ]

What Kate did - that's all her fault, all on her shoulders. Not on yours.

[sassywolf]

[ He stilled, wanting to pull away and change the topic as soon as possible but knowing that wouldn't be possible without somehow making it worse. ]

..There are still details that make it my burden.

[benchwarming]

[ Stiles doesn't relax his arms, though he does nudge his cheek against Derek's. ]

I know. I'm not gonna tell you not to feel that way, just - I wanted to tell you that.

[sassywolf]

[ He slips one arm around Stiles' waist and holds him close. ]

Let's talk about something else.

[benchwarming]

Hm. Like what, schoolwork?

[ He's teasing, a little, as he says it, a grin spreading across his mouth. ]

[sassywolf]

Sure. What classes are you skipping today?

[ His hand pokes Stiles in the side. ]

[benchwarming]

All of them?

[ Stiles says it with a wide grin, giving a squeak when Derek pokes him. ]

[sassywolf]

[ He rolls his eyes and pulls away from him ever so slightly. ]

Which would be...? Chemistry? English?

[benchwarming]

[ Stiles sighs. ]

Math, English, History, other boring subjects?

[sassywolf]

[ Derek returns the sigh leaning back on the couch. ]

What do you have for homework?

[benchwarming]

Just some work to do out of the book. Scott will text me if there's anything new to do.

[ He shrugs one shoulder, leaning forward so that he's still pressed against Derek. ]

[sassywolf]

[ He runs his hands down over Stiles back and lets out a sigh. ]

Okay.

[benchwarming]

[ Stiles nudges his chin with his cheek. ]

You look kinda worried, big dude.

[sassywolf]

I'm in a constant state of worry, this is normal.

[benchwarming]

Hey, so am I, but I can still notice it when you look more pensive than normal.

[sassywolf]

[ He lets out a huff. ]

I just don't think it's one of your better ideas to be skipping school after the meeting this morning.

[benchwarming]

[ He stills. ]

Probably not, but I gave them an excuse and I don't... I wanted to be close by. You looked angry.

[sassywolf]

Because it's not exactly something that's going to be understood immediately.

I don't even understand it fully.