[ open au ] moon baby

[benchwarming]

My pain is caused by my pleasure
And my soul mate lives in your body
I can't get you out of my head
It never goes away

( an au where stiles is a werewolf.
can be because he was bitten by peter hale instead of scott,
or possibly after he was offered the bite.
maybe he was always a werewolf. )

Comments

[sassywolf]

Nothing.

[ Because he hadn't, not really and Derek knew it was strange and irrational but he had hoped Stiles would come back and maybe apologize. The apology was optional, he didn't really expect Stiles from doing that but it would have been nice. ]

[benchwarming]

Bullshit, I did something wrong, or at least you're acting like it. Derek!

[ Stiles raises his hands to gesture and then drops them. ]

You can't not tell me this shit. I only know so much.

[sassywolf]

That's the problem! I don't know what you want and when I do, it's almost always the opposite of what I'm after and I don't know how to give what you're looking for!

You and Scott are the only two that don't listen to me and don't obey when I give an order but at least with Scott I could count on him to come around.

[ He was shaking his own hands, out like he was almost expecting Stiles to give him something. ]

[benchwarming]

[ Stiles makes a frustrated noise, running his hands over his head. ]

Look, I'm sorry - I know you'd rather not deal with the Argents but Derek, this is me keeping you safe, keeping the pack safe.

And I just - [ Here his voice cracks. ] You said you didn't want me here.

[sassywolf]

I didn't want you there. I was frustrated but I want you to be pack, Stiles. More than - More than anyone else.

[benchwarming]

I - [ And apparently Stiles had those words wrong, and the sad expression that he misread it is quick to be covered up. He sighs heavily. ] I want to be part of the pack too, Derek. I just don't know how to do that, and even when I'm trying, it feels like it's wrong.

[sassywolf]

I don't know either. [ Which was weird because in any other circumstance, it probably would have been easy. Even with as moody as Jackson could be, Derek still had no trouble getting him to do what he asked but Stiles was different then his betas and he was different from Scott, even if Scott was pack with Stiles.

Derek's head spun trying to figure it out, shutting down that urge he kept feeling because obviously Stiles didn't feel the same. ]

[benchwarming]

[ Stiles sighed and sat down on a nearby crate, rubbing his hands over his head again. Miserably he spoke. ]

Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm just an omega and I'm not ever gonna be able to join any pack.

I mean, Derek, I'm trying, but even I can tell that I don't - there's some connection I'm missing that you have with the others.

[sassywolf]

That's not true. Omegas can become beta just as they can become Alphas. One can become the other at anytime.

[ But he knew that there was something different. Something that wasn't quite the same with Stiles as it was with the others and while that feeling nagged Derek he couldn't bring himself to act on it when he wasn't sure if Stiles felt the same. ]

[benchwarming]

But I don't want to be an omega! I want to be part of your pack.

[ Stiles hissed it out in frustration, rubbing the sides of his forehead. ]

I mean - do I feel any different than the others, to you?

[sassywolf]

I know! Which why I can't understand why you don't act like anyone else!

[ Inadvertently answering the question he dropped his hands to sigh. ]

So yes, I guess you do!

[benchwarming]

Then how do we -

[ fix it, like Stiles is broken, like he's not right, and he hates saying it but he swallows. ]

How do we fix it?

[sassywolf]

I don't know.

[ He feels like pacing again, but doesn't but he senses the switch in Stiles emotions. ]

I don't even know if it's broken. Maybe you're just different. Maybe there's just something missing.

[benchwarming]

Good different, or bad different? There's a difference - heh - you know.

[ Stiles starts jiggling his legs, a nervous habit. ]

If there's something missing, what is it? Do you have any idea?

[sassywolf]

I don't know!

[ He shrugged to emphasize his point. Which was strange on it's own because Derek never admitted that, not to anyone, hardly even to himself. ]

[benchwarming]

[ Stiles realized that, belatedly. Derek was admitting he didn't know instead of just saying silent, his usual method of not admitting he didn't know. He swallowed, nervously. ]

You said I don't feel like anyone else. What do they have that I don't? Should we try to figure that out?

[sassywolf]

Obedience, for the most part.

[ He gave Stiles a look, but really didn't expect him to fall in foot with the others. Stiles just wasn't like that. Stiles had always been different before but now... ]

Do you feel different around anyone? Jackson? Scott? Lydia? Anyone?

[benchwarming]

[ Even Stiles had to scoff at that part, even as he thought about it. Even Erica had fallen in line eventually. Why was Stiles finding it so easy to resist.

He thought about the others. ]

I feel... like I want to make sure they're okay?

[sassywolf]

[ He hadn't changed then, at least Derek didn't think so. Stiles always appeared to have an instinct to look out for others, even when he was human so he pressed on. ]

Specifically. Is there anyone you feel different around? Like... Drawn to or feel more connected to. Like Scott.

[ Because they were friends before and pack now, unlike any of the other from Derek's own.

He also realized he was a terrible interrogator because he was basically vocalizing everything he was internally asking himself, even though he already had the answers to them. Suddenly he was feeling, in the slightest of ways, nervous. ]

[benchwarming]

Not that I've noticed?

[ Well, okay, that was a bit of a lie. He had more of an urge to check in on Derek, which had made this last week so hard for him, but it wasn't like he was going to share that. ]

Though it's been easier to get the rest of them to listen to me, if that means anything. Even Jackson left me alone during lacrosse the other day because I asked him to -

[sassywolf]

[ He raised his brows, catching the slight change in his heart rate. ]

Tell me everything, Stiles.

[benchwarming]

...I've been worried about you?

[ He said it like he was unsure how it would be taken. ]

Just. I worry about all of you normally, but I kept wanting to come by and check up on you last week, even though I was seriously pissed and thought you had told me to get the hell out of dodge.

[sassywolf]

[ It's tentative as he takes a step forward, testing the water of Stiles words and how much they held true. ]

But you didn't because your anger outweighed it.

[ He hesitated, deciding to simply restate that fact instead because it was also true for him, though he did not want to be seen as the weaker for seeking Stiles out first. ]

[benchwarming]

No, I - sort of. And because you told me not to come back and I thought you meant for good. So I focused on doing something - so I could protect you guys.

[ Stiles looks up at Derek, watching him approach but he doesn't seem wary. Just confused, and concerned. ]

Does - does that mean something?

[sassywolf]

It might.

[ He was being vague on purpose. He didn't want to have to confront those confusing urges when he still wasn't confident if Stiles would return them.

But then he was shifting and his red eyes focusing on Stiles intently. ]